Reflection & Change


Its that time of year again, Christmas time is coming to an end and the new year is fast approaching. I'm a sentimental person who often likes to look back on the past and reflect on what good has happened, though this time of year can also be a time of mixed emotions, perhaps inner conflict and anxiety of what is ahead within the coming year. The fear of the unknown is wired into us as humans from birth, you see something you're afraid of; whether it be deep water, that assignment you've been putting off for weeks or meeting someone on your first date, that little (or big) voice in your head tells you to get the hell out of there and head for safety.

Fear can be useful in some situations - hell, you wouldn't have lived very long at all if you didn't have fears to keep you from doing stupid things whilst you were a kid. We're constantly learning and adapting to survive within our surroundings and I think that my 2017 has been another long learning curve for me which has helped me grow into a much better person.

My 2017

On last year's New Year's Eve, I wrote the post 'My 5 New Year's Resolutions for 2017' where I set myself the following goals: figure out my career, travel more, experience more of the unknown and learn new skills, read more books and blog more. After reflecting on each of these goals, I can honestly say that I've nailed each of them, okay the career one still needs some work but I think I've made some pretty solid steps towards that (plus, who in the hell really knows what they're doing in this life?). I did my annual couple of weeks travelling across Europe with one of my best mates, travelled up and down the country for gigs, cons and seeing friends, experienced new food, music, art and ways of living, read a whole bunch of books and kept on top of my blogging game. 

Whilst I consider myself a glass half full kind of guy, I do often get that little voice of fear in my head which tells me to look at my living/working situation and makes me feel like I'm in a bit of a rut, working a part-time job to make ends meet whilst I pursue a creative career and juggling a social life, and as much as I hate to admit - makes me wish my life away for a better job, living situation, personal living environment and life overall, constantly wanting something more. It isn't until take a step back to look at the achievements of what I've done throughout the year though, that I notice the growth that I've achieved and that voice slowly fades away and stops making me fear the unknown and uncertainty of the future and what it may hold for me.

The above being said, the feeling I get whilst looking back at my year isn't of contentment. To be content is something that I will never aim for. I'm all or nothing, I don't just want to keep my head above water and swim through life at a slow and steady pace after completing my goals, fuck that. After completing goals, I want to be making a list of new goals with feet strapped to two jet-powered sea turtles, hurtling me through the water at light speed into a retrowave sunset.

Looking at 2018

Ridiculous(-ly awesome amirite?) mental imagery aside, I can't wait to see what 2018 brings me and to look back a year from now and see what kind of experiences and growth that I've had for another year. For 2018, I want to continue to kick fear in the butt and keep doing more new things and experiencing more that will get me out of my comfort zone. The one goal that I'm starting the year with is to pass my driving test as I feel that not having a license is impeding my growth by being unable to get out of my city and even do smaller things like just being able to jump in a car and quickly go and visit a friend. Aside from this single goal, I really just need to hone in on and improve on the mindset and ways of living that I've already adopted over the past couple of years:
  • Continue making rad art things - I put my art out into the world this year and people actually purchased it which is fucking awesome. Many, many more art things will happen in 2018.
  • Minimalism, mindfulness and spirituality will continue to be a part of who I am - starting with a much needed new year clear out of clutter and stuff that I've accumulated as of late. 
  • Invest and spend time wisely - continue to save more and start making solid investments for the long term as well as choosing the right things and people to spend my time with.
  • Drink less alcohol - If there's one thing I've noticed recently, its that me and alcohol just don't get along, I'll feel great for a couple of hours whilst drinking and then towards the end of the night the comedown happens and the following couple of days I get really depressed, like extremely. Its time to cut it out - sure I might have the odd glass here and there for special occasions but no more excessive drinking. 
  • Eat less meat - I aren't going fully vegan or veggie, but I am being more mindful as to what I choose to have for each meal for both my own personal benefit and the whole bigger picture.
  • Carry on doing more of what I love and expressing what love - I went to my first con this year, saw more of my friends, went to more gigs, threw myself into my art and found other artists to follow and fall in love with their art; more of this for 2018! 

That just about wraps up my reflection and outlook for the new year. How has your year been, do you have any new year's resolutions or goals for 2018? Let me know in the comments down below.

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